Standard Phil

Best part is around 3:30 when the dealer says "I just sat down man". Fucking hilarious

I banned Neverluggie because I was tilted and I also think is fucking worthless

In fairness, democracy will preside.

Bulgarian Olympic Hockey Team Loses 82-0

Bulgarian women's ice hockey loses 82-0; gives up more goals in four tournament games than Red Wings did last regular season
By Greg Wyshynski
So at what point during an 82-0 loss in a women's ice hockey game do you turn to your buddy and say, "C'mon, finish your popcorn and let's beat the traffic?"

Because Slovakia led Bulgaria 31-0 after the first period (.pdf) of their 2010 Winter Olympics women's ice hockey qualifier over the weekend in the Latvian town of Liepaja. After two periods, they led 55-0. If you're Bulgarian and still in the arena during the third period, chances are you're either one of the players or someone who also refuses to leave the worst movie ever made because you paid "good money" for the ticket.

The 82-0 defeat capped what may have been the most pathetic tournament appearance in international hockey history.



Bulgaria lost to Italy (41-0) and Latvia (39-0), and it followed its 82-0 loss with a 30-1 defeat to Croatia (who obviously must address its defensive shortcomings before Vancouver in 2010). In total, Bulgaria's women's ice hockey team surrendered more goals in four games (192) than the Detroit Red Wings did in 82 games last season (184).

Our friend James Mirtle had the best wrap-up of the 82-0 carnage:


Down 77-0 with three minutes to go, Bulgaria put in its backup goaltender, who promptly let in another five goals on five shots in just 1:25 of playing time. The game's final shots on goal were 139-0. Slovakia had 12 players record hat tricks, including one 10-goal scorer, one nine-goal scorer and four others with eight.

Mirtle also points to this story from a Bulgarian media outlet that actually stands up for the women's team and takes the government to task:


The embarrassment, however, ought to be directed towards the Bulgarian Government rather than the ladies. With a population of 7.4 million, only three indoor ice rings in the country and only 37 registered female players, Bulgaria could have hardly hoped for a successful run in the competition, although this ruthless and systematic destruction was nothing short of a national embarrassment.

While some believed the 82-0 defeat could have been the worst loss in ice hockey history, Eric McErlain of FanHouse writes that it's not even the worst loss in women's hockey history -- that would be a 1998 game in which South Korea barely survived a scare against Thailand, 92-0. Still, Bulgaria's 82-0 defeat set an IIHF record.

The chair of the Bulgarian Hockey Federation is calling Slovakia's 82-goal win "a kind-of an insulting mockery" that's "not at all sportsmanlike." We're counting down the moments until he lashes out at the glib reaction of the international sports media, which refuses to acknowledge goalie Liubomira Shosheva's amazing 57-save performance. Considering, you know, she faced 134 shots in 56 minutes

Suge Knight Arrested In Vegas

LAS VEGAS - Marion "Suge" Knight was jailed Wednesday on assault and drug charges after he was accused of beating his girlfriend while brandishing a knife near the Las Vegas Strip, police said.


Knight, 43, posted $19,000 bail and was scheduled to be released late Wednesday with a promise to appear Sept. 26 in Las Vegas Justice Court, a court spokeswoman said.

Police said the founder of bankrupt Death Row Records was arrested about 6:40 a.m. after officers arrived at the scene of a minor traffic accident and found Knight hitting a woman in a parking lot off a busy thoroughfare.

"A citizen sees the beating in a parking lot, police get there fast, they see him beating her. It's a good solid case," said Las Vegas police Lt. Chris Carroll.

The woman was not stabbed but she was treated at a hospital for injuries that Carroll said were not life-threatening.

Police did not release the woman's name or age, but said she identified herself as Knight's girlfriend of three years.

"This is a very large man," Carroll said, estimating his weight at more than twice the woman's. "He was on top of her, actually in the act of violently beating her when the officers arrived, with the knife in his hand."

At least one officer drew a Taser stun gun as they approached Knight, said Officer Jacinto Rivera, a police spokesman. He said he did not know if the officers drew their handguns.

Knight dropped the folding knife and was taken into custody without incident, Carroll said.

He was booked into the Clark County jail on felony charges of assault with a deadly weapon and possession of a controlled substance, and misdemeanor charges of possession of dangerous drugs without a prescription and domestic violence.

Knight had the drugs Ecstasy and hydrocodone when he was arrested, Carroll said, but it was not clear if he or the woman had used drugs or alcohol before the arrest.

Lawyers David Chesnoff and Richard Schonfeld, who are representing Knight, said they wanted to gather information about the arrest and talk with Knight before commenting.

Rivera said Knight and the woman left a Las Vegas strip club, Spearmint Rhino, shortly before the arrest. They were alone in a champagne-colored Cadillac Escalade.

Police said Knight and the woman argued in the vehicle while Knight was driving before he allegedly punched her in the head.

"The victim purposely grabbed the steering wheel and caused the vehicle to hit the curb," police said in a statement. Police said the woman tried to run away, but Knight caught her.

Knight has a history of legal problems and was with Tupac Shakur when the rapper was gunned down in Las Vegas in 1996.

Knight was convicted of assault in 1992 and placed on probation, then jailed for five years in 1996 for violating that probation.

He was returned to jail in 2003 for again violating parole for punching a parking attendant at a Hollywood nightclub. He was released the next year.

Knight was wounded during a shooting at a party in a Miami nightclub in August 2005.

His former record company was auctioned in June for $24 million to New York-based Global Music Group Inc.

Daniel McCarthy, a lawyer handling a Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection filing for Knight and the record company, said Wednesday that the sale is pending.

Death Row Records was known for releasing seminal gangster rap albums by Tupac Shakur, Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg, and sold tens of millions of albums in the heyday of early 1990s rap.

In 2006, a federal judge ordered a bankruptcy trustee takeover of Death Row Records, saying the label had undergone gross mismanagement. Knight's decision to file for bankruptcy protection staved off a move by the court to appoint someone to take control of the record label and his assets.

Senator Edward Kennedy At The DNC

Pretty emotional speech considering doctors have given him less than a year to live.