Why the post?

Go play trivia ya douchebag.



And by the way, I'm going to a nudie resort next weekend. I frequent these places quite a bit....with my girlfriend of course.

The Christmas Party

So tonight I was forced to join my girlfriend at a dinner/Christmas party with some of her work friends. The party was at someone's house and it was a nice little house in Buckhead. Before I got to the party I was so hungry that I had to eat something....that something turned out to be a leftover plate of scalloped potatoes and Bush's baked beans - yum. So we get to the party and we start to mingle and I began to feel a slight bloat in my belly (keep in mind we hadn't sat down for dinner yet). So I yammer with these unknowns for about an hour and the pressure greatly increases in my mid-section.

"OK y'all everyone sit down, dinner is served".

This being a small house, the dining room was adjacent to basically everything else in the house....including the bathroom.

So the eight of us sat down and began to nibble and make small talk. I was now beginning to feel the scalloped potatoes and beans drag race down my colon. I politely excused myself and took three steps into the only bathroom in the house. Being that the door to the bathroom was more or less "in" the dining room, I knew I was going to have to do a courtesy flush and the "sound effect" cough just to mask the fury that was about to come out.

All nestled down on the toilet seat, I flushed the toilet prior to dropping my load and much to my dismay....the fucking toilet was clogged! I frantically searched for a plunger and couldn't find one. I was now prairie dogging and clinching sphincter like my life depended on it; yet there was no way I was gonna wrangle this one back up into the hole.

So here is my thought process: What the fuck do I do now? There are people just feet on the otherside of that door that are probably thinking, "Oh great, the fat boy is gonna stink up the whole house while we are eating". If I shit in the bowl I'm going to have to leave a loaf there for the hosts to find later and they will know it's me who left the brown bass floating. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! Should I turn on the shower and shit down the drain? Well then what do I do with the toilet paper? Who the fuck clogged the bowl in the first place?

After about 2 minutes of racking my brain for ideas, the turtle head came to life...I couldn't stop the process. So I did what any other college prankster would do: I put the toilet seat down, removed the lid to the tank and upper decked that mother fucker. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I basically camoflaged the entire working innerds of that toilet....there wasn't a drop of water in the tank. And yes, I was giggling while I relaxed on the tank's edge and leaning back against the wall. OMG the fucking smell was horrendous. So, I finished my paper work and deposited that into the tank aswell.

Job done. I gently put the lid back on, washed my hands and came out of the bathroom all in under 6 minutes....smiling and ready to eat. I proceeded to sit down, eat my dinner, make small talk, and even have an after-dinner beer before I told my girlfriend that we needed to leave right away.

On the way home I confessed the whole thing to her and she was so upset that she has already called in sick tomorrow for work so she will not have to face her coworkers.

Merry Christmas....fuckers.

TODAY'S TRIVIA

LMAO! How in the fuck did I get a 10/10 on this shit today.

Today's Trivia

Pretty easy quiz today, but if you're Good Cheats it's really really easy.... and fast too.

Today's Trivia

Good Cheats needs to be banned for cheating on the trivia. He has 2 aliases, takes the quiz with one, writes down the correct answers then plays the quiz again under the other alias and gets 10/10 in around 20 seconds.

Ban him please.