Retarded political ads

As we get closer to Election Day, the local TV nets are becoming saturated with mindless political ads. For a couple of commercial breaks during last night's World Series game, all we saw were political ads for this one local congressional race. Here's what my TV looked like between innings:

Commercial #1: Doug Hoffman is a principled conservative who promises to tackle Washington's crony culture and will be Nancy Pelosi's worst nightmare

Commercial #2: Millionaire Doug Hoffman is an evil rich white guy who supports tax breaks for companies that ship our jobs overseas and will continue Bush's failed economic policies

Commercial #3: Socialist Nancy Pelosi handpicked Bill Owens for Congress and he will be just another tax and spend pinko liberal commie if you send him to Washington

Commercial #4: Bill Owens comes from a military family and served at the Plattsburgh Military Base before it shut down. Since then, he's helped to attract thousands of jobs to upstate NY.

Mind you, these and similar commercials were all aired in a row numerous times. WTF is the point to that? Who is actually being convinced by these contradictory ads? I honestly don't understand why anyone takes politics seriously.

There's one ad in particular that pisses me off



This one highlights the plight of upstate NY dairy farmers. Milk prices have crashed and many dairy farmers are barely scraping by. We hear from one who implores us to send Bill Owens to Congress because he will rein in those evil speculators and get to the bottom of this "price fixing".

Not 18 months ago milk prices were surging to record highs. Funny I didn't hear any dairy farmers complaining about those evil speculators pumping prices up to absurd highs when us consumers were getting fucked. BOO FUCKING HOO. I HOPE MORE DAIRY FARMERS GO BUST. THAT WILL REDUCE SUPPLY AND RAISE PRICES. STOP BITCHING TO SOME IDIOT POPULIST POLITICIAN, DAIRY FARMERS AREN'T THE ONLY ONES IN TROUBLE THESE DAYS.

***Official Awkward Moments with Moderately Famous People Thread***

A couple of years back I met one of the world famous Baldwin Brothers in a bar. That's right bitches, I've shaken hands with William Joseph "Billy" Baldwin. He was in town for my university's Alumni Weekend. Below is a rough account of our encounter:

(the setting is a popular college bar in downtown Binghamton, NY. October 2005. one of the baldwin brothers, though no one is quite sure who, walks in and sits at a corner table with friends. a long line of drunk college students forms to shake hands and exchange generic pleasantries with the mystery baldwin. armed with all the knowledge of an amateur film buff, your narrator sets out to engage the baldwin you have by now identified as "billy" in an actual conversation)

Me: Hey, Billy, you know I really loved Backdraft. A terrific movie, you were excellent in it!

Billy (clearly pleased that someone is finally familiar with his work): Thanks man, I'm really glad you enjoyed it!

Me: Yeah, well, uh...I know the director

Billy: You know Ronnie?

Me: Yeah...um...he's my father

Billy (making a face that can only be described as similar to the snake from jungle book): Oh.

(After he said "Oh", Billy looked away and took a swig of beer, stared right at his bottle for 5 seconds without looking up. All the while I'm standing in front of him in awkward silence. Eventually I got the cue, and just kind of slithered away)

The next morning I searched IMDB and realized the "Ronnie" in question was actually Ron Howard. Whoops.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Your Bad Taste Award for 2009

Hey, let's dump tons of beer and champagne on the jersey of a guy who was killed by a drunk driver! Fucking idiots.

The only way this gets beat is if someone goes to David Carradine's grave and whips it with a belt.

What are the odds that Micon knows about this forum?

5%

Crown Slips from NFL's Colossus

The Patriots are losing to a team QB'd by Andrea's husband from 90210. The Golden Age of New England football is officially over. It's painful watching Tom Brady gimp around in the pocket. Last week on that 10 yard run against the Bills he looked like young Forrest Gump, leg braces and all. Face it, Carson Palmer was never the same, and neither will Brady.

I don't rule out that the Patriots could come back and win another miracle game this week. They only trail 16-9, after all. They might even make the playoffs this year. But the days of the Pats being a perennial Super Bowl contender are over. As are the days of Belichick embarrassing opponents by running up the score 55-10.

It was a good run. But it's over.