The pictures of my truck after the accident.

thank you Slim

Hels, I really do hope that this is a life changing experience for you..

I can understand that you weren't in the right mindset when you decided to make your move. It seems like your mindset has improved considerably since then. I don't understand why you would incriminate yourself on an internet forum and justify your action by saying that you chose a trailer.

Before you go and speak in high schools, I think you need to go and speak with the driver of the trailer...

maybe he did just lose control of the car

I had a near death experience. I live in Cicero Ill. but for about five years I moved to Tennessee. I lived very close to the Tennessee river. I had a small fishing boat with a 25 hp motor on it. I was dumb enough to put 3 people and a dog in there. It was a bass fishing tournement day, a very fast boat went by and a wave come over my tiny boat and filled half of it up with water. I eventually sank it, and had jeans and gym shoes on and can't swim that well. I had no life vest. I tried to swim a little but with all your clothes on it is very hard. My arms were so tired I could not even move them anymore. To make matters worse I was hyperventilating. Luckily for me someone in the tournement saw and came by to throw me a life vest and give me a ride back to shore, the dog too. Man dogs are great swimmers. I was ready to drown, and It didn't change my life at all. The fact that someone wanted to hurt someone else to kill themself makes me sick. You can have depression and still think clearly when it comes to harming others. The part about depression where you cannot think clearly is that there is a way out, or some hope. That's where you cannot think clearly.

If someone decides to do something when it significantly increases the likelihood of murdering a random person all in the name of conveniance, then shit does not just happen.


Zeplike = fucking moron.

Alright, after reading all this I know who has known or dealt with people who had the same problem I have. Zeplike, I obviously don't know you personally, but I know that you are the type of person who is extremely caring and compassionate and people who do know you are lucky to have you as a friend or family member. To all the other guys who are saying what an idiot I am, I know where you are coming from. However, you don't understand what I was going through. Saying that it was a cry for *attention* is about the dumbest thing that was ever said. I didn't want attention out of this, I wanted to disappear and never have anyone think of me again. Alot of you have said that I shouldn't put anyone elses lives at risk and I do agree with that, but it's pretty hard when you want to do something and have to drive 300 miles by yourself. I didn't want to hurt anyone else, I really didn't. All of you people who are criticizing what I did truly do not understand my emotions at the time. It's not easy to explain what I was going through and for all of you who have never dealt with it you will never know. Right now all I want is to get better, I am going to counselling as well as having every and any doctor help me where they possibly can. I don't want this ever again, not just for me but for anyone.

If anyone ever has something they want to talk about feel free to talk about it with me. I will listen and I will understand what you're going through. I obviously don't know you personally or any of your friends or family and I know how hard it is to deal with these problems when you don't want anyone else to know. I am serious about this, if anyone ever wants anything just let me know.

Now, for the person who said I wanted attention from people and that's why I did this I will prove you wrong. I talked with a police officer who was there when I first became conscious again. He told me that we were talking and I was still trapped inside my truck and he told me that an ambulance was going to take me to the hospital. I supposedly told him that I was alright and I'll hitchhike back to my home and I didn't want anyone to worry about me because I'd be alright. When they asked for my home phone number I only gave my student house number and I wouldn't tell them my parents phone number. The last thing I wanted was for anyone to know and I wanted to keep it all a secret. People who try it are not looking for attention, they are looking to be forgotten about.

With the girl she wants to get back together but I am truly uncertain about what I want to do. I was never like this until we started going out, and I have been in long term relationships before this one and was never like that. About poker, well I actually turned into a winning player since I started getting 110% rakeback. I had made $2200 since school started this year. As for getting better after the accident, unfortunately I'm no better but no worse either.

Anyone who says "HOF" can go fuck themselves.

Don't do it. The best move you can possibly make right now is breaking off contact with this girl permanently. You break up, you move on. PERIOD. Getting back together is only going to cause more heartbreak down the road when you break up again. There's a reason you broke up in the first place, and it's bound to happen again. This girl doesn't sound like anything special. There are bigger, and better fish in the sea. TONS of them.

There is no such thing as a soulmate, so don't buy into that crap. Find yourself a new girl when you get your head on straight, and have a fresh start. She'll do you good (figuretively and hopefully literally)

Agreed

could not agree more.

Where are you getting 110% rakeback?

How the hell are u still alive

Holy shit, unreal story.

My view is that if people want to kill themselves so be it, darwinism.

But don't ever involve other innocent people, that is bushleague and pathetic. There is no guarantee that other people wouldn't get killed, i'm sure it was enough of a hit where the other driver could have lost control and rammed into other cars or if he wasn't wearing a seatbelt could have flown out the window. To downplay things saying it was a big truck so no harm done is f'ed up. Also if you would have died think of the nightmares the guy that hit you would have. You basically would have affected his life bigtime.

Good to hear your doing ok, but it still seems your kind of downplaying the fact that you put other people's lives at risk.

I know people are going to blast me saying how insensitive I am and how you learned your lesson, etc. My view is that anyone who has it in them to do what you did, not just kill yourself, but risk killing other innocent people, has some SERIOUS character flaws.

The rest of your life all your family and friends are going to always have the fear in them that you'll kill yourself.