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I wake up one day, same as every day, to a good ole power bar. Considering I never forced myself to go to school, never hit on any chicks, and just basically sat in my luxury Irvine apartment, I would say my life was pretty simple. I coerced my roommate into a 16 dollar loan again, not thinking of how losses in the same game I had recently seen, but about how much I was going to own everyone once I started winning. I won this 16 dollar turbo. For once a win and 60 bucks heebin in my cashier. Take a drink of Gatorade from the Heeb jug! Oh, and eat a bread, take a piss, and then sit in the chair. Ahh, the chair, and my hand, and the porno? Download some crap... Next I play a 27 dollar turbo. No you donkeys, I?m gonna win, I win again this time. OH yeah, you know why. Well, 200 dollars is not bad but that?s a million years away, I could probably go to the gym now. Lift weights. How about this 150 dollars. Sit at 1/2 nl but be mindful, just remember that shit that Hellmuth?s crazy ass says every day. 150 dollars later, and all is ok, so I pay up, and am left with under a buy in until I get up to 200. Now what - get to 254, and pray there until you consistently win. Well, between the Djarums and Skoal, sounds like the nut plan.
I began to sit some 2/4 nl now with everything divied between tables. I hate those fucks that sit 1k buyins with 400, with their tail between their legs. At about 2400, I had an impulse to try playing 30 60. Hey, nothing beats a 2400 stack at 30 60, and I?m going to have to do this eventually. After being rolled by Conditioner heads up and in a ring game, I was left with a mere 500, so I did the only sensible thing, posting a shit roll in the 5/10 nl, and after swinging to 2k and 500 about three times, I finally ended the night at about 2200. Wow, I can count the stars from here. Now I had learned the ropes of the medium limits.
I was the guy with all the skills. Check it out, the roomies are broke haha. I ain?t no degenerate Micon save it. Alright, the busdriver seems like the nuts, but who is this thorladen guy, What is that anyways. Is it the other country?s lad? USA BITCH. I dunno, but the cashier says 13k, might as well get stoned and stare at the cool cashier screen with lots of money. Maybe I'll go flash some money around and look cool. Conditioner says it?s not looking to shabby.
I like it when my roommate comes in and talks to me and watches me play, these are the 5 1k buy in tables I play ? who?s your daddy. ?pretty cool huh?. I?m at 15k and the first rush happens. Got a taste of it. Nothing YOU've ever seen before. 20 minutes and three AA, four KK, and three QQ, some JJ and TT later - 20k, wtf just happened?
"Dude, send me a fuckin g now that you're rich, come on, it's nothing to you and I was in here helping"
What am I?
It's almost Winter break and I have nothing going on except there?s going to be waves in Santa Cruz. Big Ug is going to want to go surfing for sure. I?ll get back into the 5 mile run too.
Giving back
So I found a new game. It's called PLO, and you can make money there a hell of a lot faster than you can at hold em. You just have to convince the guy to go all in with you. That's it. Just never be on the losing end.
Up to 40k!
Dad, tell that VC chick I want to invest!
I'm nigger rich he says!
UHOH
15k in one afternoon at PLO, and now my 100 200 winnings are down the drain.
Why didn't any of that session get going?
This is a problem so I?ll cash out the remaining 25k. My mom says I can get into some real estate fund with 25k, so the future looks up.
Cancel the 25k right away and start playing PLO
Down 10k
Now I can?t get into the fund, and I?ve got 15k. 15k isn?t 25k I?m thinking, and that isn?t nearly 40k thinking, so now what?
Zero
Well, the family wasn?t too hard on me. They mostly just laughed about it. My brother calls me the 40k wonder and I tell him it?s going to be more next time so keep laughing.
Thanks for the 200 grandma, a wonderful xmas gift, and I wonder, where?s it going!?
Get Big Ug over here ASAP to buy me in through the debit card.
Thanks BIG UG, now go do bunky.
Well, not too shabby. First night ending at a grand and some change makes you feel pretty good. So me and Big Ug make some trips over to the Hook and the Point the next several days and get in the faces of some real? locals. Yeah dude, you have been surfing you?re whole life, and yes I DID just push your ass off MY wave, and if you have a problem, me and Big Ug here CAN kick the crap out of you.
New Years rolls around and I?ve got a healthy 17k in my roll. Got myself an invitation to a little party, but the chick from the club is throwing the party. This is gonna be good. Big ug and bunky can drive me over and I?ll get laid, and the devilish laugh ensues. Sweet deal, but big ug bones out on me so I?m left to the 100 200 and chickontilt, guess it?s me on tilt cause there goes 15k again. Well, I call up the old high school friends and tell them all what?s been going on. They say I?m crazy but not to worry about it. Well, now I feel a lot better again. I split the money at 2 tables and instantly double up at one and bust from a bad beat at the other. Wow, oh well, stick to it kid. Leave and split again and tag some heads for 5k. Alright, collect myself, and I?m off to the 100 200. Oh boy, it?s the donk of the century. Anybody know his name? I forgot - he is terrible though. Well I take him for 5k in a half hour and go into my brother?s room. What?s up dude. YO. Watch 30 minutes of comedy and go back for the last 5k of the evening. Thanks you uber donk.
Well, last night was quite the pathetic turnout, but jesus, I still got my 17k so who gives a damn. Anyways, time to start rolling over the site. I get to 50k in the next several days ? almost 10k a day rate!
After that I go down to Irvine and get to 65k only to meet my demise. But hey, it was fun while it lasted. Let neverheeb live on Lee!
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Apr 10 2005, 08:17 PM
